Parents force 16-year-old son to tutor his failing twin sister and carry her down the stairs after she broke her foot, gets in trouble when he refuses: 'I told her I am not her caregiver all the time and she needs to do stuff herself'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 14, 2024 8:00 PM EST

Teenagers should not have adult responsibilities. I'm not saying that teens should never get a part-time job, learn how to drive, or help around the house. I just believe that they should only be responsible for their own schoolwork, chores, and jobs. One of the best things about being a young childless person is that you don't have to be responsible for anyone's life but your own. That's all well and good when you're 20 and living on your own, but if you're still a teenager, your parents can force you to take on the responsibilities of your siblings, whether that is just or not, and often it's not. It's common for teens to babysit for their younger siblings, but this story follows a teenage boy being held responsible for a sibling born the same day as him. While he's expected to be a grown-up, his sister can be a baby. 

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  • 01
    CLEA
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for telling my sister I am done being her caregiver?
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 03
    I (16M) have a twin sister (16F), let's refer her to as Lara. Lara and me have splitting personalities, but for the most part we used to get along until high school. Since, Lara was an outgoing person, she barely studied if at all, she was obsessed with tiktok and stuff. Now I am not as outgoing as her, I mean i still go out with friends but only during the holidays and we do activities like
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 04
    basketball but yea you get the gist. Due to her dismal academic performance, compared to mine, I am always made to tutor her by my mom. My dad knows about this but he's busy with work all the time and travelling for different meetings, so he isn't really involved in this situation. My mom is a SAHM.
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 05
    Now I don't mind teaching her, except that every time I try to teach her, she always manages to throw a fit or a tantrum and I get blamed if she does badly in a test. So I gave up. Next, she managed to fracture herself, at a friends house, apparently she slipped and missed the landing (don't remember too much... happened 3-4 weeks ago) and ended up in a cast, it should take approximately 2 months for her to recover, according to the doctor and for the cast to be removed. They taught her how to u
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 06
    with it. Our house is 2 stories tall, and there is a staircase to go up to our bedrooms. She wants me to carry her all the time. Now this isn't an issue for me, I am 5'11 she's 5'7, and am much heavier than her, except I am not free all the time nor does she want to take the effort to use her crutches. For the past 1-2 weeks I relented and had to do as she told or else she threatened to complain to our mom ... whose busy in her own social life, and gets fed up when we complain to her, except she
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 07
    The last straw is when she called for me to take her down the stairs to drink water, while I was on a call with a friend, finishing a group project that was due the next day. I had enough and after the call, I went to her room and told her I am not her caregiver all the time and she needs to do stuff herself. Guess what she did? Called for mom and I got into trouble again. AITA?
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 08
    Carmenti NTA. At the end of the day, while it may be generous to do these things for your sister, I don't think you have any obligation to. And, as you said, she could use crutches. Your assistance is a luxury, not a necessity.
    via u/Carmenti
  • 09
    Alone-Coffee5957 OP It's not like I am fully against helping her but I can't be there 24/7
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 10
    The_DaHowie Weaponized incompetence Your sister is doing this
    via u/The_DaHowie
  • 11
    i_talkalot For sure. She's technically 2 yrs away from being an adult. Who is she/your parents going to blame when she can't hold a job
    via u/i_talkalot
  • 12
    Certified_Goth_Wife NTA tell your parents to take responsibility for their child.
    via u/Certified_Goth_Wife
  • 13
    UnusualPotato 1515 But their mum is busy with her social life. Its hard being SAHM to 16 year olds.
    via u/UnusualPotato1515
  • 14
    Environmental_Art591 Crutches I gave up by the end of day 1 and just hopped everywhere. My mum, when on them in a townhouse, went up and down the stairs on her and hopped everywhere at home as well (kept the crutches by the front door for outside use and work).
    via u/Environmental_Art591
  • 15
    Your mum needs to remember the caregiver part of her job as a SAHM because while at 16 you two don't need her like you did as a kid (making her more of a stay at home wife these days) your sister clearly needs her help if she refuses to be independent and since she won't study.
    via u/Environmental_Art591
  • 16
    Don't cut your father any slack either because while he is travelling for work, that doesn't give him an excuse to abdicate ALL parenting responsibilities to your mother who has then given them to you. He needs to step up and talk to his wife, but in order to do that, you need to talk to him and tell him what has been going on. You are NTA sweetie
    via u/Environmental_Art591
  • 17
    Construction No9678 I agree with you, totally NTA and it's a shame the family is failing both OP and the sister by neglecting to actually parent their kids. Also, a big part of being a parent is stepping up when there are situations where your kids need your help. I think "broken bones" falls under that category. Sure, mom doesn't have to do everything for Lara and she should be able to get herself a glass of water, but at the end of the day it's mom's responsibility to help her on the stairs.
    via u/ConstructionNo9678
  • 18
    According_Owl7655 NTA!!!! Dude, I just got foot surgery and can't walk for 6 weeks. Crutching up and down the stairs is NOT HARD, you just have to go slow. She is being a lazy, selfish brat, and you have every right to help her at your own pace and on your own time. If she's that demanding?? I'd stop helping her too until she showed some respect. Your mom is consistently heavily favoring your sister, and she needs to check her behavior or she'll lose her son in the long run. Maybe it's time you
    via u/According_Owl7655
  • 19
    her. You guys are 16. You're almost adults. If she's throwing tantrums at 16, then I'd be embarrassed to be her parent. Tbh, you should be helping her when you can when she absolutely needs it, but the carrying up and down the stairs just so she can get water? Unacceptable. Taking advantage of you. I'm pred for you. NTA NTA ΝΤΑ
    via u/According_Owl7655
  • 20
    Alone-Coffee5957 OP Her tantrums range from screaming to throwing fit literally on purpose a
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 21
    FairyOfTheNight Start recording her. Every time your mom blames you, play her tantrums on full volume. If she doesn't want to parent, she can at least listen to her the product of her non-parenting. If she keeps punishing you, play it in front of your mom's social circle. Don't play their games. You deserve better. You are not an accessory to their lives. This may sound nuclear but if you don't stop this now, it will never get better. ΝΤΑ
    via u/FairyOfTheNight
  • 22
    Ray_3008 Call your dad. It's not a question of bothering him he is a parent. Let him be annoyed but he has to bd involved in your upbringing as well. And do prepare to leave home as soon you hit 18. You owe nobody anything.
    via u/Ray_3008
  • 23
    Alone-Coffee5957 OP My dad's barely free so idk when he would pick up. He's in NYC right now while we are in California
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 24
    Ray_3008 Just try to call. He will at least see a missed call. Since it doesn't appear that you call him usually, hopefully he will call back. Or text him to say that you really need to talk to him when he returns. He is your father. His duty doesn't end with providing you stuffs but be absent. Worse case, you will know that both parents don't care.
    via u/Ray_3008
  • 25
    killjoygrr Seems like your mom is the AH there.
    via u/killjoygrr
  • 26
    Aggressive_Cattle320 NTA. Your sister is manipulative as heck. She wants the prize, but isn't willing to work for it. She expects you to hand it to her. You are not her keeper and you are not her parent. SAHM can help her with her needs. She doesn't do well in school, most likely, because she is too busy socializing and not studying. Your mom pushing you to tutor her is enabling her to continue letting someone else do the work for her. And carry her around??!!! Oh, I think not! Or, at least that
    via u/Aggressive_Cattle320
  • 27
    Alone-Coffee5957 OP My mom's a SAHM but she's all the time out with her friends or talking with them or going on trips means it's mainly my sister and I and if something happens I get blamed
    via u/Alone-Coffee5957
  • 28
    Beneficial_Waffles Woahhhh okay, NTA. What the h_II? Your sister is acting like a complete invalid. Is she bed-bound? I broke my foot at 13 and had a cast for several weeks on crutches, and I got around just fine. Up stairs and back down them too, even if it was kind of embarrassing, crawling up them or sitting on the steps. You're not your sister's maid, nor should she be running to your mother over something she can do herself if she'd just get up off her lazy ass. And why is your mother encou
    via u/Beneficial_Waffles

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parenting teens family drama teen teenager tutoring cast teenagers siblings broken bones reddit story family twins sibling reddit thread Reddit legs tutor parents
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